Jose and I have been tempted by sexual sin way too often than we are comfortable sharing, but we also know it is necessary for our transformation and hopefully helping others as well. We both have sinned against God- pre marriage with sexual sin. Finding healing and peace in Christ has been some of the best joys. We have been spiritually, emotionally, and physically challenged to trust in the Lord to save us from our chains.
We waited until we were married to consummate. It is glorious. It is fun. It is imperfect yet the best. It is funny. It is beautiful. It is special. It is meaningful. It is sweet. It is loving. It is God glorifying.
Jose and I struggled really hard in the beginning, lusting after one another and having a lack of self control. It was condemning and never fulfilled our needs. We learned about six months in after we began dating how to confess sin. We learned our lack of confession showed a rebellious heart against God and wanting to keep our sin in the dark. Learning how to confess was one of the most freeing things I've learned. I had a group of faithful sisters who showed me grace and pointed me to the gospel every time. They would rebuke me but also point me the sweet taste of freedom with trusting Jesus. We slowly got better and the closer it got to the wedding we had more control to keep our hearts from wandering into lust. :D
In the short short time I have been married, I've been able to see how to make much of God during sex. It was absolutely worth the wait. It was worth it because I got to enjoy it with my husband being the way God designed it.
Ill go into our last counselling session that was all about sex of things that stuck out to me.
Ït's our duty to enjoy marital sex
Passionate. Intimate. Celebration. Cherish. Satisfy. Received with thanksgiving. Sex is Good. On pgs 76-77, Chester writes that "God is designed by God to complete of fulfill or bind together the companionship of marriage."... I love that its at the deepest of levels. We are able to be vulnerable with one another, embracing one another in our nakedness like God embraces His people.
Good sex begins long before you take your clothes off
I loved this chapter the most! More words to describe sex are affectionate, gentle, sacrificial, personal. We give ourselves to our spouse. On pg 83"we make love throughout the day through little act sand words of service." Every communication shows how we value one another. Treasure one another. Serve each other. If it is all about performance- it is damaging rather than loving. We must learn to be humble- to grow as a better lover and serve our spouse and King Jesus.
We get sex wrong because we get God wrong
If we idolize sex more than our spouse then that is a sin and a broken allegiance to God. Dont objectify your spouse- making them a means to have sex or putting my pleasure before Jose's, or having an obsession with spontaneity. Find pleasure in giving pleasure.
Love finds us beautiful and love makes us beautiful
"Our partner cannot possibly hope to measure up to the expectation created in the media" pg 92 Be captivated with your spouse, enjoy them. This is where I need work- to accept I am beautiful in my spouse rather than measuring myself to false images. Inward. Precious. Unfading. This is our Jesus loves His people.
I am continuing to learn how to enjoy Jose, sex, and my Lord in all of it. It has been the most challenging and lovely experience. I am excited how God will grow us through this sweet gift.
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