Bits and Pieces of Lately

An Update of this Month

These last couple of weeks have been filled with trials. Engagement season is tough. Everything is heightened. Im literally breaking out because of me being anxious or worrying. My emotions, my actions, and my sin.... I've relied on myself, my control, and my works.

Some specific struggles are as follows.... Everyone's opinions (mainly my family- learning how to transition out of my family's home into being one with jose) and how to balance the roll of being a daughter, sister, and soon to be wife....not having a local church family and having that accountability and reminder of the gospel, and just trying to obey God in plugging into a church that is challenging me like crazy. some days at work is tough because of not meshing well with every one...lots of draining arguments with Jose which reveals my selfishness, pride, wanting control, and lack of joy in Christ alone... Wedding planning itself is the least of all my issues, but yet it's still another 100 decisions I need to make... I see my deep sin coming out as of late and it's consequences take away glory from The Lord. 

Its been really helpful to tell people these issues so I dont have to save my face and act like everythings all good. I suck. I am drained and on edge. Its so nice to get encouragement, wisdom, and help. I am thankful.

When I am weak, You are strong, God. Help me glorify You.

A sweet lady gave me this bookmark my first day at Bellflower :)

Halloween on Bowcreek

A bit late for this halloween post but OH WELL. I just wanted to share pictures of pumpkins throughout the years.

LOL OMG MY ATTEMPT TO CARVE. AND THE MOLD THAT GREW IN IT AFTER...

Family tradition is dad carves the pumpkin, I allocate the candies into about 6 -8 bowls. We usually are buying 8 bags of candy from Costco! We have hundreds of kids who trick or treat down Bowcreek Drive! We live next to a park and elementary school! We make comments to cute kiddies who dress up but also bag on those much older high school kids who dont have a costume and are just going around with their backpacks. Those kids always just get 1 piece for having the guts to come to the door haha. We keep a tally chart of how many trick or treaters come to the door. And we always get about 450-550 kids! Its been a blast. I will miss being on bowcreek for halloween.

Farewell Crossview Party!

My church had a fun party on Sunday evening to give thanks to the Lord for our time together as a church. Here are some pictures from the party where we ate el pollo loco, watched a slideshow, played games, photoboothed it up, thanked God specifically for one another, and ate dessert. Its becoming all too real that these people who I adore- I will not see them as often as Id like, and there are icky sticky emotions! But God is sovereign and good always. I was glad to have a celebration like this :)

Tina and Paulo Got Married :)

My best friend got married at her home this weekend. Ive been to this home many many times in my life, but indeed this visit was a special one :) Being friends with tina for 18 years, seeing her look stunning in her white dress was a day I very much looked forward to. Her hair was beautiful- she did it herself!!! Oh the many talents of this girl! Paulo and Tina are so darn cute. They are affectionate and clearly loving towards one another. Paulo (who is from Brazil) is just a sweet man, Ive had a chance to hang out with him several times during his trips to the United States. He even played a hilarious trick on Jose by replacing a soap bar with a slice of cheese. Jose ended up rubbing that cheese on his face! :p It was a nice, simple, caring, double-languaged, ceremony filled with support from all who attended (even those in Spirit like Paulos fam in Brazil)! Tinas mama baked a most beautiful cake. Can you believe that! She also cooked for us delicious goodies afterwards. May many more memories be shared between these two and may they be apart of my life all the more! They are trekking up to SF for this season for their careers. Will visit SOON! I snapped a couple hundred pictures that day but those are a handful of my favs.

Thank you, Crossview!

I am thankful that Jesus is King and our High Priest. Although it seems SO SO bitter that Crossview is ending, it is awesome to know that God does everything for my good because I love Him. I wanted to give thanks for my almost 2 years at Crossview.

10 Things I loved about Crossview

The Gospel
The gospel message was preached to me every single Sunday from the pulpit. The gospel message was repeated to me by other members on days when I had unbelief, fell into temptation over and over, or neglected to be satisfied in Christ alone. I constantly need this truth and it was refreshing to receive it as often as I did. This gospel message is the good news that Jesus, the blameless and perfect Son of our Creator bore our past, present, and future sins on a cross and died for who would believe in Him. By his suffering and wounds those who would have faith in Christ have been healed and called out of darkness into marvelous light. Those who trust in Christ are now God's people and have received mercy. I am thankful this good news drove Crossview to live for Christ as its foundation and sole joy.

My Pastor
PJ...PJ....PJ. I love my pastor's preaching. I have learned a lot as I attempt to listen actively for 1 hour every Sunday. He exposits the scripture verse by verse giving context and application of the text. He gives solid points while God convicts and encourages my heart during the preaching. He encourages visiting Christians, our local church, and nonChristians. In addition Gods grace through him on the pulpit, PJ is a wonderful shepard to me personally. He has taken time to know me, encourage me, celebrate certain milestones with me, and rebuke me. He has certainly shown me areas where I have grown and areas where I am ignorant and am in need of God. I have been prayed for and cared for by this man. And finally in addition to that, I really see integrity and a lot of love in PJ.I see integrity in his willingness to be transparent to his brothers in fighting sin. I see the way he loves his wife and family and how they love me. That stems from his leadership. His vision for church planting and telling all the good news is so encouraging. I am looking forward to Lord willing continuing to be sheparded by him :)

My Sisters
OH GOSH. how do I not straight up start crying now! These girls will probably make me the most emotional as Crossview disbands. I will miss those who I wont be gathering with but do HOPE to continue to share life with them. Ive never had a more open honest loving grace filled relationship with a group of a girls. These women truly rejoiced with me and carried my burdens. There were moments of rebuke in times of sin but oh how there were sweet moments of God's grace as Jesus made me white as snow. These were tough questions asked of my heart, and tears as I dealt with the consequences of sin, but the words of truth that flowed from these women was so edifying. Ive read with these girls, have had hours upon hours of raw conversations with them, laughed together in all our silliness, were broken hearted together as we saw our depravity. There was no saving face, or pretending to be a Christian woman. We are all sinners, who are now saints because of Christ. I am thankful we had each other as a great gift from the Lord. They were lights to me. It was a means for Him to be glorified in all our interactions.

My Brothers
I think prior to coming to Crossview, I was jaded by men in my life who didnt really value or protect or care for a woman. I found it normal for a man to be sexual, crude, and prideful. For a season, I desired that in a man. I have been blessed a manifold times by the men at my church. I will miss these community of brothers being together. I personally have seen my own fiance grow so much specifically because of men who love the Lord, want to lead their wives well, truly learning how to be sacrificial servants, and hate sin. I will miss the absolute ridiculousness between these guys as well as real true love for one another. I enjoyed reaping the benefits of them being intentional, bold, compassionate, challenging, and loving.

Praying
It has been a joy to make prayer such an important and vital heart beat to our church. We would pray at least 5 times during sunday gatherings uniting as a church under the Lord. We praised the Lord, confessed our multitude of sins as a whole, asked God's to discern the text during the preaching, prayed as we were sent off for the week to make disciples and enjoy the Lord, and during communion as we broke break and wine. We had prayer lists which was helpful to remind us to contact others to ask how to pray for them. I had brothers and sisters a like pray for me throughout the week- in person, over the telephone, or text. We see prayer requests via email to the entire church and we are able to let them know we prayed for them. Crossview was imperfect, and we should have prayed more, I know I definitely should have, and need to continue to grow in this.

Singing Together
I loved loved loved singing with my church. The voices of broken sinners praising our God who is our hope. Ah-soooo good. While we are all different types of people gathering together, we have one voice singing hymns and psalms of praise. I came from a big church where I very much enjoyed the band playing and the loudness of the musical instruments. Coming to CV I came to learn and absolutely love singing hymns to a guitar. It was all about the gospel truth be embedded into the songs that called my heart to sing. Singing as a church certainly helped me bind my wandering heart to Thee. These were my fav songs to sing at Crossview: Jesus Paid It All, Before the Throne, In Christ Alone, How Deep, Jesus, Thank You, You're All to Us

My Local Church
One of the reasons why I came to Crossview was that I was learning the importance of the local church. Church Membership. Accountability. Being part of the body. This local church (although it was a 35 minutes drive away, 45 minutes if Jose's driving ;p) was my imperfect and yet perfect for me home church. These people discipled me and let me disciple them. In fact we were called to do just that in our covenant. I witnessed 3 excommunications for unrepentant sin, in which Ive seen 1 restoration and deep wrestling in the heart for the other 2. Ive seen only by God's grace has He kept me from stumbling into a nonchristian and a big reason is because God is using my local church to remind me of the good news.

Meeting Needs
The coolest thing I was blessed by was that our church was almost always meeting mental and physical needs. Ive seen bills paid, money given, homes shared, food given time shared to find housing or peace of mind. It was a blessing to see people who didnt even know a person that well give without hesitation, expectatoin, or strings attached. Thsi is because the Lord has given us MORE than we deserve. Our money is not our money- it is the Lords. Our time is ought to be spend glorifying Jesus. We ought to be cheerful givers. I saw displays of that time and time again and my heart rejoiced.

Eating Together
This was not just a tradition done after Sunday gatherings- but a part of life in order to bless one another. This is where a big chunk of my money goes to- but gladly so. I eat with people all the time in order to listen, speak, carry burdens and celebrate with them. Eating after sunday services were always wonderful- I got to see people give to the church to the provide lunch for others, serve others food, and then the speaking of truth after and sharing life was always beautiful to see. I hope to continue to eat with others and provide food for others whether on the street or in my own home in marriage.

Disciples Making Disciples
Oh how this was engraved into my head and heart during my time here. I saw the importance of not only being a disciple of Jesus but also being a disciple who wants to make disciples of Jesus. Following the great commission but also continuing to teach other women and encourage men in Christ! Ive seen members try to live this out on a daily and I will try to live the same way. One thing I would like to grow in at the next local church I am a member of are practical and good opportunities for missions either locally or overseas. I feel strongly about evangelism and gospelizing others and would like Jesus's help to shape me into Him in telling other the good news more often. Pray for me and this new season!

I am looking forward to to transferring to a new church. I will keep you updated on pending membership in the future.

Oh, Crossview! :'( Thank you for so much! Oh Jesus, My Lord - an even bigger Thank YOU!

2 Timothy 2

I am cherishing these Sundays with my Crossview Church family. I am writing these blogs to remind me that God speaks through the preaching of God's sovereign word, the gathering of believers, the praying of sinners, and singing of broken yet redeemed people. Here are some things that encouraged me from Sunday's gathering

This text gives us clear pictures of how we are to be faithful to Christ- as a soldier, an athlete, and a farmer.

Verse 9B

"But the word of God is not bound!"

This is so brilliantly uplifting. Although I fail, my God and His word has no end, boundary, or limitation. It runs to ends of the earth, reconciling sinner to God.

Verse 10

"I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory."

I must remember this goal. This ought to be my every moment thinking and the ultimate vision in loving others. Verses 14 and 16

"...not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers."

"But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness..."

Aas a woman and as a sinner- I talk. This is how I more effectively communicate with others. This is where I am prone to sin daily! My heart wanders into nonsense talk, puffing my heart and head up. May this convict me to stop my tongue from falling into this trap.

Verses 22-26

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, table to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

APPLY APPLY APPLY! In a day, or month, or years from now, look back into this blog and hopefully God has given you grace to grow in these areas. Ask accountability for help in this!

One of my favorite parts of the gathering was my church celebrating mine and Jose's engagement. They really have encouraged us the ENTIRE way whether it was by praying, giving wisdom, giving helpful words when we were discouraged, and telling us we were honoring the Lord by moving into this season. It was wonderful to have them rejoice with us. We are thankful.