Pre-Marital Counseling - Sessions 2&3

Jose is finally on summer vacation which means I get my laptop back to blog a little more!

Weve had two marriage counseling sessions since I last blogged and its been AWESOME. Jose and I have also fought since that time so its been great to put things were learning into gospel centered reconciliation! Here are a couple of sweet truths I have been learning from reading this book and from PJ and Frances. Pray for us to grow in these areas!

Marriage is an illustration of the relationship of Christ to His people.
God invented marriage to show us how he loves us!"(pg 12)"A husband and wife are covenanted to one another. A lot of my encouragement came from (pg 14). A covenant is a contract with love. The covenant protects love. Lean on the covenant. It gives marriage its framework, context, and protection. It is an echo of God's faithfulness to us. There is a binding promise and loving relationship. We are called to not keep "feeling in love"but to keep "being in love." This was really really comforting for me! When I am unlovable, impossible, stubborn, and bratty- my husband is called to still love me through our covenant.

The purpose of marriage is companionship and partnership in mission
(pg 19) says our greatest need is to love God and to love others. Our task in (pg 20) is to reflect God's glory in the world as His image. There is a partnership of service where Christ is the focus. Knowing this I can grow in knowing how to serve God together at our local church, in our new home, and elsewhere! I also have opportunities to support Jose's service of God whether he is in school, at his job, church, bearing his burdens, praying for him and engaging him in conversation to encourage him.

Find your identity and joy in God rather than in marriage.
Knowing that there will be good and bad times, I have to remember that tough times will bind Jose and me closer together. But our marriage is a display of what is to come. It points to the the marriage of Jesus to His bride in the new Heavens and new earth. What a beautiful illustration. What a love. (pg 100) really hits home in many areas. I am reminded on that I will need to keep working at our marriage, protect it and stick with it! But by all means, it is not ultimate- neither is our spouse or the intimacy. God truly completes, satisfies, and completes us. We were made to know God and enjoy him. To put such high expectations on a person is unrealistic and unfair. Once there is contentment and identity in God, then I will be able to freely enjoy my spouse. :) Please please please friends and family, constantly remind me of this!

Marriage demonstrates that it is good to live under God's reign
We have been deceived by Satn that God's rule is oppressive and manipulative, but REALLY it is a rule of blessing, freedom, love, life, justie and peace. I pray that others will see our marriage and see IT IS GOOD TO LIVE UNDER GOD'S RULE AND REIGN!!!! Reading (pg 25) was a boom moment in my head. His rule was demonstrated oh so perfectly when His Son Jesus died on the cross in my place to bring me freedom from my slavery to sin, self and death! The most perfect example of submission and authority is looking at the Trinity. Jose and I must always remember the Trinity, It must come out of love and sacrifice rather than tyrannical, passive, rejection, and self willed. In practice on (pg 26) he writes "the wife puts her husband's will before her own and the husband puts his wife's interests before his own." Jose will try his best to seek my interests before his own, but I will follow his will and decisions! Please pray for me that I am able to submit to Jose like I ought to Jesus with joy and freedom and not with whining, complaining, nagging, or begrudgingly.

Wives put their husband's will before their own, like the church submits to Christ
Submission does not mean silence nor slavery. It is having a gentle and quiet spirit with a respectful and pure conduct. I enjoyed reading the reminders of what submission was NOT. It is NOT agreeing with everything my husband says, or trying to change him, getting my spiritual strength from him, or acting out of fear. No no no, submission is (pg 32) reinforced with gospel conviction, challenging one another, and speaking truth in love for the sake of Christ and His glory AND for the sake of our spouses and their holiness. He is definitely imperfect and will make mistakes but I am to submit with joy! My allegiance is to Jesus always!!! Pray for me to grow in godly and biblical submission.

As Christ loves the church, husbands put their wife's interests before their own
I LOVED THIS. This spoke right into what I desire in a husband! (pg 37-38) specifically just got me. Having a proactive plan would bless me. Take time to study your wife, to understand her interests. Actively pursue the things that will help your wife blossom and grow. Put her holiness before her happiness. Help her become more like Jesus. To become holy and blameless. Work to become sacrificial, serving, and selfless. Take responsibility to resolve conflict, make decisions in a godly manner, disciple and teach the children. MAN, seriously all beautiful good things. I must PRAY PRAY PRAY this for my husband.

2 Timothy 2

I am cherishing these Sundays with my Crossview Church family. I am writing these blogs to remind me that God speaks through the preaching of God's sovereign word, the gathering of believers, the praying of sinners, and singing of broken yet redeemed people. Here are some things that encouraged me from Sunday's gathering

This text gives us clear pictures of how we are to be faithful to Christ- as a soldier, an athlete, and a farmer.

Verse 9B

"But the word of God is not bound!"

This is so brilliantly uplifting. Although I fail, my God and His word has no end, boundary, or limitation. It runs to ends of the earth, reconciling sinner to God.

Verse 10

"I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory."

I must remember this goal. This ought to be my every moment thinking and the ultimate vision in loving others. Verses 14 and 16

"...not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers."

"But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness..."

Aas a woman and as a sinner- I talk. This is how I more effectively communicate with others. This is where I am prone to sin daily! My heart wanders into nonsense talk, puffing my heart and head up. May this convict me to stop my tongue from falling into this trap.

Verses 22-26

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, table to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

APPLY APPLY APPLY! In a day, or month, or years from now, look back into this blog and hopefully God has given you grace to grow in these areas. Ask accountability for help in this!

One of my favorite parts of the gathering was my church celebrating mine and Jose's engagement. They really have encouraged us the ENTIRE way whether it was by praying, giving wisdom, giving helpful words when we were discouraged, and telling us we were honoring the Lord by moving into this season. It was wonderful to have them rejoice with us. We are thankful.